Every Relationship Is a Mirror | HuffPost Life
Everyone is your mirror. This is the greatest of all relationships secrets and the only one you really need to understand to transform all your relationships. Here it . Why do we start relationships with rose-colored glasses, only to unearth changes in a person we thought we knew? The four stages of how relationships work. The Mirror of Relationship: Love, Sex, and Chastity [J. Krishnamurti] on Amazon. com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. This book features excerpts on the.
The universe will perfectly align us with those who mirror back to us the areas in which we need to heal or they will mirror back to us the space of self-love that we've created.
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Relationships are assignments to help us grow. Many times we align with someone who challenges us by triggering our unhealed wounds, making us act from fearful patterns of communication that create separation rather than connection. This looks like the fight or flight, conflict or withdrawal pattern, which is based on past traumas big or small that we unconsciously bring into the present moment and even project into the future. Oftentimes, it is not the present situation that is upsetting us but rather an unhealed wound rooted in the past.
When we're scared rather than going to conflict or running away, we can go within.
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Begin by sourcing the emotion or fear that's coming up for you by asking your mind to show you the first memory of this feeling. From there you can allow feelings to come up to release, moving through them when you're ready, to the other side where you see things from a higher perspective; you can call on your higher self to show you loving perceptions, the truth of the person or situation.
In this space you will experience a radical shift. This is where you find your peace, safety and serenity, your connection to love. All of my fears were triggered in my romantic relationships so I started here.
Many times we try to change the other person in order for us to be happy or we judge or blame others rather than owning our own feelings and taking inventory to see how a limiting belief or pattern can be blocking us from what we desire. I began to look within myself and I could see how all of the challenges in my relationships were a reflection of my loveless thoughts and the lack of connection I had with myself.
Everyone is Your Mirror - The Greatest Relationship Secret
I was only focusing on my external life with no awareness of my internal landscape, which is not just our body but also our thoughts and emotions. When I was ready to look at it, I saw that my thoughts and emotions were based in lack, fear, doubt and limitation. The way we treat ourselves will affect how others treat us. The truth is, I wasn't giving to myself what I wanted from someone else. I wasn't giving myself the love and attention that I wanted. However, you will quickly come to see it as great news because it means that you too can enjoy those loving relationships that previously seemed out of reach.
To do so, the only person you need to influence is yourself. What are You Really Seeing in the Mirror: To internalise this truth, that everyone is your mirror, you must first understand it. Your relationships with others are your opportunity to experience yourself and grow.
They are a perfect mirror of your inner relationship with yourself and the beliefs you have acquired about life and love. Everything you admire in another person belongs to you and the same goes for all that which you dislike. In order for you to recognise a certain quality in another, then it must be part of your consciousness. You could not see it otherwise. Essentially, the bottom-line cause of break-ups and divorce, is when one or both of the partners can no longer stand to see themselves in the other person.
To best understand how everyone is your mirror, think in terms of these three categories: Your Beliefs are Staring You in the Face: Your beliefs about relationships, about men, about women, about love and life in general are all there for you to see in your relationships. We have all acquired certain beliefs throughout our lifetime that cause us to react and act in certain habitual ways that either support us or don't.
This is most notable in our relationships because in order to experience anything or anyone you must first relate to it. For instance, if you believe that men or women are not to be trusted no matter how trustworthy you areor if you yourself have been willing to be the "other woman" or "other man" in the past, then by the Law of Attraction you will attract relationships in which a lack of trust is a major issue because that is where you have chosen to vibrate.
Even if your partner is being faithful to you, you will look for reasons to prove otherwise and, as the saying goes, you always find what you are looking for. The problem is that you did not consciously choose many if not any of those beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships at the subconscious level.
Instead, your beliefs were, unbeknown to you, handed to you by society, the media, your parents and your friends.
There are also those beliefs that came part and parcel with your culture and upbringing, and the stricter your culture in the area of relationships, the more ingrained those specific beliefs. Since your relationships are based on those beliefs, your experiences only prove to re-enforce them for you, thereby creating something of a virtuous or vicious cycle depending on whether your beliefs support a healthy and balanced relationship or not.
Owning Up to Your Qualities: Every quality that you see in your partner, whether you admire it or not, is your mirror - it is showing you who you are. The more you dislike a certain quality, the more it is showing you a part of your consciousness that you are not acknowledging. For instance, if you dislike your partner's jealous nature, you will find that you too are jealous perhaps not of him or her but of others.
If your partner's competitiveness annoys you, you will find that you too are competitive. If your partner's negativity or insecurities get you down, you will find that you too have a negative nature and the same insecurities.
The only reason that these qualities are annoying you is because they are also yours. As long as you do not acknowledge them as your own they will continue to frustrate you, while owning up to them provides you with the chance to grow. When Positive Qualities Annoy You: Interestingly, you may find that even some positive qualities annoy you.
For example, if your partner's overly kind and giving nature frustrates you, it is showing you that you too want to become more kind and giving but are resisting doing so.
Alternatively, your partners' ability to forgive may make you uneasy. Instead of becoming frustrated, see it as an opportunity to learn forgiveness. This ties into why opposites appear to attract as explained later in this article. When your partner acts in a particular way that upsets you, you will find that you too act in the same way, most likely not towards him or her but towards yourself and probably others.
The more a particular action frustrates you, the more it reflects a part of you that you are not owning. If your partner treats you with disrespect, look within yourself and see who you treat with similar disrespect, whether it be a friend, a family member or yourself.
If your partner criticises you, you will find that you are critical of yourself and most probably of others. If your partner ignores your needs, you will find that you too ignore your own needs or those of others. Ultimately, you teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. You may have heard that opposites attract and indeed this often appears to be the case. So how can relationships always be your mirror if opposites attract?