If Someone Has Lied To You, This Is The Best Way To Respond
Lying is a bad solution to an underlying problem: How to break the cycle. Posted Jul 29 Lying can destroy a relationship, but all lying is not created equally. Whether like a storm that causes a landslide, or rain that slowly eats away at rock, lies can utterly change the landscape of a relationship and. Before you can begin to plan the best way to confront the lie, you need to Lies told in close relationships will really sting and will undermine the .. It is also about ending a sense of hoping the person will honor their word.
There is no excuse for what I did, but I want to explain. I went on the trip and, while I was there, I kissed a friend of mine.
5 ways lying destroys your relationship
I'm not even sure exactly why I kissed him but I think I was just feeling so suffocated, and on the trip I felt so free. I got pretty drunk and I was feeling this wild, playful part of me that I've kind of lost.
I love Joe more than anything in the world, and I am so happy that I married him, but his depression has been really hard. I feel so selfish when I say it, but the two times it's gotten really bad during our relationship, it was because of something I did. Joe can get really jealous and insecure and he takes my occasional flirting as certain evidence that I will cheat on him someday.
In general, he is very anxious when I hang out with my friends.
8 Ways Lying Is Poisonous To Relationships
The first big depression was after he saw a playful chat I was having with a guy at work that had some sexual innuendo in it. I can understand that Joe felt jealous though I wasn't doing anything with the guy and didn't want to. After he saw the chat, he was in bed for a month, he almost lost his job.
The stakes feel so high, like if I do something wrong he might be hospitalized or even kill himself. I don't want to loose him but I do want to be myself.
I know I should have tried to talk to him about this earlier, I was just too scared. However, there is often a good reason. Infidelity is a very complex topic and is rarely black and white. Many people cheat even when they love their partner deeply and often cheating or other kinds of lies happen when a person feels like they have lost some part of themselves and are trying to regain it.
Sometimes their partner rarely or never wants to have sex with them - something we don't think of as universally evil or selfish but which can have grave consequences on a relationship. Sometimes the kind of sex they are having isn't at all satisfying but the partner doesn't want to try anything different.
Sometimes the relationship has become isolating. And, sometimes there are so many good things in the relationships often including shared childrenthat the stakes feel too high to tell the truth and face the potential loss.
All that said, we want to emphasize that lying to someone you love can have very grave consequences. It impacts trust and can shake the foundation of a relationship. Many relationships don't survive a lie, especially one that involves sex outside the relationship.I Don't Trust Him, Should We Break Up?
The way we see it, one of the worst parts of lying is that it takes the choice away from the deceived person, which often leaves them feeling humiliated. Here we examine just 8 of the many ways in which lying is poisonous to relationships of all kinds. Lies Erode Trust Perhaps the most obvious impact that lying has on a relationship is the erosion of trust one person has in the other. Lies and trust cannot easily coexist; eventually the former will destroy the latter. Whether like a storm that causes a landslide, or rain that slowly eats away at rock, lies can utterly change the landscape of a relationship and make it uninhabitable for one or both parties.
Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker
Trust is so essential for a strong and successful relationship that when it is lost, the chances of total collapse are very high. Lying Shows A Lack Of Respect Being told the truth, no matter what it may be, confers the feeling of respect upon the recipient. It proves to them that the other person places significant value upon the relationship and is not prepared to jeopardize it by deceiving them.
While some truths will clearly put a relationship at risk, lies tend to be even more damaging. Telling someone the truth, even if you know it will hurt them, shows that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions; lying shows nothing of the sorts. As soon as this lack of respect becomes apparent, it begins to put great strain on all aspects of the relationship and, if left unchecked, it will be the undoing of it altogether.
Waiting For The Liar To Slip Up Again Once you uncover a lie for the first time, it is hard not to live in expectation of future untruths from that person.