Long Distance Relationship Statistics | What are the stats?
In , 14 million couples defined themselves as being in a long distance relationship. That doesn't include the million married couples. Long distance relationships are supposed to end. Isn't that what end up in divorce. Of the 2 million marriages in the U.S., , fail. Turns out couples in long distance relationships have a leg up on us all.
Crystal Jiang and Jeffrey T. Hancock found that romantic pairs communicating long distance built stronger bonds. So while some of us are zoned out on Netflix with our partners on the couch, couples who live apart are actually talking. Missing someone can allow romance to flourish. Boredom can be the death of any relationship, specifically in the sex and romance department. Wouldn't it be great if every time could feel special?
For couples who only see each other sporadically, extraordinary tends to be the norm. This could be due to the fact that LDR couples are more likely to talk about sex. And as Karen Blair, psychologist from the University of Utah, points outthese types of conversations lead to greater intimacy.
When you're only seeing someone once a month, it makes sense to put in a little extra effort. After all, a lot of LDR couples don't always know when or how often they'll be seeing each other. LDR couples are forced to flirt and court one another on an ongoing basis. Mark, director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at the University of Kentucky, also points out"Sure, you miss your partner and ache to see them again, but that ache is exactly what fuels the desire and passion in the relationship.
Missing out on the mundane allows for your relationship to flourish on the ups of life. Almost all couples are guilty of fretting over the small stuff. This isn't as much of an issue because LDR couples don't have to deal with the everyday responsibilities that many couples fight about.
While falling into an everyday routine with a partner is nice, LDR couples show us it's important to make our time together special as well.
- Long Distance Relationship Statistics 2018
- Long Distance Relationship Frequently Asked Questions 2018
- Long Distance Relationship Statistics in the US
In fact, what would be considered boring, everyday details can be a source of bonding in LDR couples. Telling each other about the details of the day is not just about passing the time, but rather about letting partners in on aspects of life they wouldn't see otherwise. As therapist Robert Navarra told U. News"Talking about nothing is what sort of cements the relationship in terms of intimacy, so that they can talk about more intimate issues as they need to.
One of the biggest hurdles for any couple is trust. That can be compounded exponentially when you're living in different ZIP codes. When you aren't constantly around each other, there is no way to verify what the other person is doing, who they're with and all the other insecurities that contribute to doubt and mistrust between couples.
But ironically, when you live near your partner, that access to your partner's phone, Facebook or email can decrease trustas the access can feed doubt and mistrust we may already harbor.
Long Distance Relationship Frequently Asked Questions | Long Distance Relationships
Similarly, couples in LDRs can come to idealize their partner downplaying the negative side which works well until the couple re-unite. Then disillusionment can set in. To combat this effect we recommend that couples formalize a time to talk about the relationship and address problems that might otherwise fester. For example, is it okay to go out with someone for dinner? Is it okay to go to a movie together? Some dating couples even allow for dating other people. Finally, we remind couples in LDRs to generously applaud the contributions of their partners.
Men in LDRs in particular feel that their partners did not acknowledge their contributions. Research has found that those in LDRs very frequently cut themselves off from others. They use work as a distraction from the loneliness. Their ambiguous status — physically single but not romantically available — can be uncomfortable in certain social situations.
All of these contribute to a tendency to simply turn inward when separated. Yet, we know that the degree of social support from friends and family predicts both the emotional difficulty someone will have while separated and the likelihood that the relationship will stay together.
Because of this we encourage those in LDRs to make an effort to spend time with friends and to get out and socialize. We also have found that having a confidant is very important. A confidant is a friend other than the romantic partner with whom concerns about the relationship and other important topics can be safely discussed. Couples in LDRs sometimes measure the success of their relationship by the perceived quality of the most recent time spent together.
If the weekend went great then the relationship is doing well. If the weekend was a disappointment then the relationship is in trouble. All relationships have their ups and downs and geographically close relationships can absorb these ups and downs more easily by simply spending more time together. Simply realizing that there will be some disappointing times together — and that this is normal — will help with those less than glorious weekends. Fortunately, research has shown that couples in LDRs report just as satisfying sex lives as their geographically close counterparts.
When apart, couples need to learn how to be sexual without being physically close. Usually this involves either telephone sex or erotic letters, pictures, or videos. Are they comfortable with self-pleasuring?
Long Distance Relationship Statistics
If they want to make long distance sex part of their relationship then we work on making them more comfortable with these activities. They can start by reading sexual fantasies over the telephone or even just to themselves first.
There are even books that teach people how to write erotic fantasies. LDRs are more similar to traditional relationships than they are different. Many people stress that it is important to maintain separate lives, and not merely sit home and wait for the partner to return.
Can you explain why this is so important? Maintaining separate lives supports long distance relationships in many ways.
It allows one to be productive and to grow as a person — one of the great advantages of an LDR. Our research found that those in LDRs who were in school, for example, compared to those in geographically close relationships, were generally more successful and found their education more interesting, rewarding, and constructive.
This helps them psychologically deal with the separation. This uses a tremendous amount of psychological energy that could be used in much better ways.
Yes, some problems may be made worse by distance. For example, even though we know that couples in LDRs do not cheat on one another any more than geographically close couples, we also know that those in LDRs worry more about cheating. Because they cannot visually monitor their partner in the same way as a geographically close couple can, they sometimes create a fantasy world in which their partner is cheating.
This fantasy often would be dispelled in a geographically close relationship as couples monitor one another unconsciously or consciously. In an LDR this monitoring is far more difficulty and these fantasies can get out of hand. Also, as I discussed earlier, the use of the telephone can increase misunderstandings because of the lack of visual cues.
A vast amount of information is conveyed by the facial expression or hand gestures or body position. This is all lost over the telephone and a simple comment can be greatly misunderstood. Thus when a topic is misunderstood they sometimes will not address this misunderstanding and it can escalate into something much greater than it originally had been.
Our research, conducted at Purdue University in Indiana, looked at couples in LDRs and couples in geographically close relationships and examined hundreds of different aspects of the relationships Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships.