Letter to friend in abusive relationship

An Open Letter To The One Who Mentally Abused Me | Thought Catalog

letter to friend in abusive relationship

one of my closest friends found herself in an abusive relationship. Even though this letter is directed toward her, I hope it gives every. Letter To My Friend—A Domestic Abuse Survivor . If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help through a qualified counselor or. To my friend in an abusive relationship,. Trigger warning: This post deals with family violence and may be triggering for some readers. We first.

We hardly spend time together like we used to, before you met him. You could have fooled everyone else but not me. The fear that you carry with you is the reason you are still with him.

He went through your phone the other night and found out that you were chatting to a male friend. He tried to change you but you resisted, until he laid a hand on you. You never told me that he beat you that night because you knew I would try to talk you out of staying with him. I know about all the beatings, how he bashed you against the wall, threw you into furniture and strangled you until you begged for mercy. I know about the threats that he would kill you if you ever leave him.

But being with him at all is a death wish in disguise.

An Open Letter To The One Who Mentally Abused Me

You are our sister and our brother, the girl we went to college with, the friend with whom we went on that epic road trip, our coworker, our parent, our past self, our future child. You abuser may be a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, parent, friend, or some other relationship to you. This letter is to you, the one we love who is enduring abusive behavior. There are some things we want you to know, and the first, the most important, is this: I love you, and many other people in your life love you.

My love for you is not dependent on whether you choose to stay in a relationship with your abuser. I love you because you are good, smart, funny, kind, sassy, sweet, and brave.

Tales From The Other Side: Letter To My Friend Who’s Coming To Terms With Her Abuse

I love you because you are wonderful. You have intrinsic value. Please never forget that, even if your abuser sometimes tries to convince you otherwise. You have value, you have worth that he can neither give you nor take away from you. You have a right to your reactions. Your abuser will tell you that you are wrong, that you are unreasonable, that you just misunderstood.

Open letter to a loved one in an abusive relationship | Disrupting Dinner Parties

And so you end up agreeing with them. Of course you do. Of course you must have misunderstood — because how could someone as good and sweet and loving as you know your partner to be, do or say such a horrible and hurtful thing? But they are both real. They can and do coexist. And the darkness in your partner is not going to go away.

You are not imagining it.

letter to friend in abusive relationship

But I have a silver lining to share with you. So much of recovering from trauma involves deciphering what threats are real and which are remembered. The process of realigning yourself to safety is incredibly disorienting, and since you left that relationship doubting everything that you know about yourself, how can you now remember who you are when your perceptions of the world are so scrambled? I want to help you navigate out of that nightmare.

letter to friend in abusive relationship

I will be your mirror. I will remind you of who you are. But then I remember that I hid the worst of my abusive relationship from you too. I remember that when I was ready to come to terms with my memories, you were waiting patiently to find out what I needed and when.

I will do the same for you. I will meet you where you are when you need it. We used to joke that we were the same person. Our brains are so similar.

We both think so quickly, we worry about everything, we give ourselves away far too much, we forgive too easily, and our emotions are so big they could probably be detected from the moon. Now, when you tell me about your newest piece of processing, I feel like I can finish your sentences.

I know the next steps of your journey. I know how this story ends.

Dear Friend: A Letter About Emotional Abuse

It should be yours. And it is strangely comforting to know that you, best friend, understand me and my experiences in a new way now.

letter to friend in abusive relationship

Having that shared set of experiences made our bond stronger. There is so much I want for you to know in your heart. I need to tell you that you are beautiful. You blow me away with the beauty of your heart—a heart that insists on loving everyone to its full capacity no matter how many times you get hurt; the beauty of your ambition, which never gives up, and allows you to shoot for success in everything you do; the beauty of your face when it lights up with laughter or excitement; the beauty of your resilience, which keeps your sparkle as bright as ever and never fades.