Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships | Mark Manson
Apr 30, Chemistry is without question the most important thing in a relationship. Chemistry truly has no requirements and no bounds, and it's. Chemistry alone won't sustain a relationship, but without it, there really isn't a . For me chemistry & compatibility are the most important and they are equal. Jun 12, Why Chemistry Is NOT As Important In Relationships As You Think Sometimes what we think is chemistry is really a toxic addiction.
For the vast majority of us, chemistry is important. This can be especially true at the beginning of a relationship. I remember when I was dating and how important it was for me to feel chemistry with whomever I was seeing at that time.
Chemistry is about that reaction we feel when we are strongly attracted to someone. But strong emotional reactions are also part of the equation.
An initial spike in these chemical reactions aka chemistry could signal a good match ahead. But, it can also cloud our judgment. This is a great question.
Having talked with hundreds of couples over the years, I come away with the following conclusion: While chemistry is a wonderful way to start a relationship, it tends to take a bit of a back seat for couples who have relationships that last longer than a few weeks, months, or years.
These are the qualities that help sustain a great relationship that lasts. Is there anything more important than chemistry? In the long run, mutually shared values, respect for each other, and feeling aligned with your partner overall are more important than chemistry.
In other words, are you compatible? Do I have to feel chemistry right away? I used to think that you did. Sometimes it can be as simple as not living in the same part of the world. Your behavior becomes completely irrational.
How Important Is Chemistry?
High levels of chemistry with major incompatibilities is bad news. These relationships usually begin quickly and passionately, exploding like a flaming geyser, which then extinguishes just as quickly as it began.
Reality makes itself known. And you suddenly realize how fucking offensive you find each other. And getting out is easier said than done. Your heart says yes, but your head says no. And then you convince your head to say yes, which in turn makes your heart say no.
Which is More Important: Chemistry or Compatibility?
And then there you are wherever you go, as they sayand you find yourself jobless with two one-way tickets to Bermuda that were never used, six stitches, slashed car tires and a shattered cell phone.
But at least that psycho is fucking gone even though you still kinda miss them. The experience is vicious yet thrilling, and will never let you forget that we are, after all, animals.
Navigating the dating territory of life with confidence requires that you understand these concepts. You need to know what you like and what you want in a partner.
It becomes insipid and dull, and I refuse to be an insipid or dull person. Since a long-term relationship with these types of women would necessitate I take up alcoholism as a hobby, we inevitably part ways.
I need a girl who likes to travel. And who cares about politics. Jen and Peter have now ben happily married for over twenty-five years. Another reason you may not feel chemistry on first meeting a person is that you are stressed or preoccupied about a business, family, or other matter. But later, when you're relaxed, chemistry might develop.
These are the lucky ones, probably because it turns out that they have enough in common in terms of values, interests, and desirable character traits that stand the test of time.
Research has shown that "couples with steady, longer courtship periods and awareness of each other's strengths and weaknesses were more likely to remain happily married over the long term Couples with "Hollywood Romances"--bursting, passionate courtships that quickly result in marriage -- quickly grew dissatisfied as spouses, and predictably, were more likely to divorce within seven years.
Other times I thought she was terrible and wondered how I could have married her. But he made an important point: