Reddit, have you ever been in love with someone you couldn't have? How did it turn out? : AskReddit
I believe that if you want to be in a relationship, you will stay in it no . feel as bad as the (usually lengthy and never ending) bad parts did too. Feb 11, My sympathies on the end of your long relationship. you stand in the league of dating, consider that you might need to take a bit more time to. It's over when one of the two does not see a way forward. Nothing else matters, if one person in the relationship has decided it's over and gives.
But this rosy glow doesn't last too long. Because soon enough it dawns on us that there's no surety that we will remain together forever. After all, people change their minds all the time! And then you are left with a pile of shattered remains that once used to be a whole heart and a pain that astonishes you with its intensity and cruelty.
No wonder so many of us end up sabotaging our relationships before we get in too deep! And the following confession by Reddit user, Deandalecc highlights that very fear: The guilt of hurting someone so deeply ends up causing you the same amount of pain! And while most women of the 21st century don't really need an alimony to support them after all, they aren't housewives like women of the past centuriesthey still fight tooth and nail for it in court at the time of separation.Walking Away From A Long Term Relationship
It's like a court-sanctioned method of extracting vengeance one last time. And that scares men a lot because while alimony laws in most countries have been reformed against gender bias, they often still fall prey to it in most cases.
That's the sentiment echoed by Reddit user, Exodiafinder in the following: And so you are forced to choose between her or common sense? It's enough to scare anyone! On one hand, it shows she's a materialistic [girl], on the other, it's just a huge blow to my ego.
A huge insecurity of mine is how I perceive my success, which is due to what I see my parents going through. In my last relationship, I was really down in the dumps professionally and thought my ex deserved someone better.
I had a lot of problems due to my employment issues. And you can't really blame them.
Mass media has always stereotyped women as people who look for only three things in relationships: That's why men, to this day, think that they need a house, a car, and a good job to finally get a good woman!
Is that a healthy way of approaching relationships? Because while a comfortable house and ability to afford good things in life does increase your chances of exposing you and your partner to many incredible experiences in life, fixating on just that to the detriment of everything else will soon turn you into a one-dimensional boring individual. And nothing kills attraction faster than boredom! The first stage is that of pair-bonding.
Here we test our compatibility and decide to become exclusive. The next stage is that of marriage where we test our ability to stick around for a lifetime. And the one after that is the stage of bringing up the next generation.
Here we test our ability to be responsible parents who can raise children who would one day contribute to the betterment of society. Unfortunately, not every parent gets to witness their child grow up on the playground, run away from cooties, and go on their first date. Some become parents to children with either special needs, like autism or Down's syndrome, or physical disabilities, like blindness and brittle bone disease.
And you can never predict if your child will be born with something that will impact all your lives forever. That's why when asked what his biggest fear in relationships is, Reddit user, birlik54 wrote the following: I don't know how I would handle having to take care of a child that would need specialized care for the rest of my life.
It just would feel like a life sentence to me as bad as that sounds. Having someone break our heart can leave us bitter and distrustful of the people around us. Another guy on Reddit revealed: My best friends helped me and looked after me. To be fair, they were the only people to do so, everyone was like "Hey, you okay" and then just treat me like nothing afterward But my best friends, who could never imagine seeing me experience so much pain, were concerned.
20 Men Of Reddit Reveal The Relationship Advice That Helped Them
And I am grateful. While some of us might be able to just put that person out of our minds, other guys say that the only way they can get over someone is if they literally delete everything that could ever remind themselves of that ex. This guy on Reddit explained: Even hide mutual friends so you don't see them in pictures or whatever. There may even be some friends you need to cut out of your life for a while or even forever.
Then you need to pick up a hobby if you don't already have one. Invest time in that.
Invest time in other friends. But often we forget that allowing ourselves to feel those emotions is healthy. Not only that, but doing so can help us get past those emotions, especially when it comes to heartbreak.
Great advice from one guy on Reddit, and this is something we can all learn from The guy on Reddit explained: Every day it will die down just a little bit, but it will still feel like an eternity to you. You will go from mixed feelings of hatred and sadness until you simply just don't want to feel anything anymore. These people know that there will come a time when you get over it, and as unbelievable it might sound to those who have just suffered heartbreak, it's comforting to hear that it will eventually end.
This particular guy on Reddit explained: You're sick of thinking about them all the time. You'll delete their texts and unfollow them on social media and you're ready to get back to living life. You've finally made the first steps but here comes the real challenge. You need to stop thinking about them. We can get so caught up in things like our relationships, that we forget to be thankful of the little things.
We live in a wonderful world, and most of us are incredibly lucky. So even though you might think it's the end of the world when you get your heart broken, realize that you have it pretty good. That's the point this guy on Reddit was trying to make when he said: As far as recovery; do the things that you love, be yourself, pick up a hobby that you haven't pursued in a while, or take up a new one.
Feel joy in small everyday things: Happiness is there, it always was, and it will be in the future. And this guy made some serious mistakes when he tried to get over his heartbreak.
But at least he knows now what he did wrong, and is able to go on Reddit and explain to others his mistakes, so they don't do the same thing. He admitted on Reddit: I retreated from people and dove into video games, I went back to my old vices, I stress ate, I was mean to her, then to other people as well, and I drank and grew fatter by the day I was miserable and got over her in spite of what I did, not because of it.
What I should have done is occupied my time with fun things to do with other people. And found another girl. And preferably been physically active somehow. Sports release endorphins and help battle even the worst cases of breakup blues - and that's what this guy figured out during his heartbreak. Do some sports and get socializing! He explained on Reddit: For me, I got back into sports I used to play Started socializing more with friends I lost a bit of contact with.