Everyday Thoughts on Life: Relationship Killers: Unbalanced Priorities
[It is crucial to recognize that conflict is different from abuse. care of yourself ( and your children, if you have any) needs to be your priority.]. It is not unusual for couples to have very different preferences and priorities. Give and take will be required to bring life back into a relationship. In any other case, no one can tell you when to walk away from a relationship. Love is the opposite of abuse, and so is a healthy relationship. . Being loved is certainly a priority, but don't allow your passion to blind you.
Maintaining balance in relationships Besides the challenge of time for each relationship, we must also contend with different priorities from those we are related to. Each person will have different views on how much time to spend together, and on which activities.
In many cases, needs may not yet be understood, making time planning difficult.
Choosing relationship priorities
Choosing relationship priorities provides the guideposts for maintaining balance in relations. The choices for daily activities can be evaluated against these priorities to determine if they are in service of guiding life decisions.
Harmful and unsupportive relationships are more easily identified and ended. Highest priority relationships can be given the time they need by taking time from those of lower importance. Opportunities to build multiple relationships simultaneously become easier to accomplish. Compromise takes less effort when the significance of the relationship is clear.
Choosing relationship priorities that support your life vision
Applying this decision Many of our relationships are the result of circumstances. We don't choose much of our family. A romantic relationship is just a part of your life, it should never be your life. Second, when your priorities are not properly aligned, your other relationships and pursuits tend to suffer.
When you overinvest yourself in a relationship, you have insufficient remaining time for your friends, for your family, for your spiritual journey, and for your creative pursuits or hobbies.
Friendships will suffer because your actions demonstrate that you don't value your friends as much as they thought you did. Your spirituality begins to decline because you simply don't have enough remaining time to make God a priority. Creative output is diminished substantially, since all creative pursuits take regular time commitment.
Given that time is as limited as it is, every hour that you spend doing one thing is an hour that you can't spend doing anything else. Some things can be reasonably cut, but there are many things in life that must remain priorities.
Third, while it might not happen initially, eventually your emotions will trouble you. When you are neglecting relationships that you should be nurturing or neglecting things that you know you should be doing, it catches up to you.
Soon, you feel less like yourself. Your life isn't the same, and it begins to bother you. Your self-image begins to nose-dive. Good habits begin to erode and disappear. It isn't a good place to be. Any one of these three issues has the potential to be a relationship-killer. Overinvesting yourself in a relationship may cause your lover to lose attraction for you. Pressure from friends and family who love and miss you will begin to affect the relationship. Negative emotions will profoundly impact your own enthusiasm about the relationship.
Yet, the combination of these three factors is positively lethal. For that reason, it is always crucially important to keep a close eye on your priorities, whether you're in a relationship or not. Healthy relationships can only be formed by two people who have proper priorities.