Avoid insecurities in relationship

avoid insecurities in relationship

Uncertainties and negativities in romantic relationships can cause anyone to feel insecure. Here are 11 ways to overcome insecurities in a relationship. A hint of jealously here and there in a relationship might be no big deal, but or perhaps insecurities you feel when comparing yourself to others. life that you're always feeling jealous of, stop stalking her Instagram page at. Use these 7 tips to stop feeling insecure about your relationship.

An intrusive parent can cause children to become introverted or self-reliant in ways that make them feel insecure or untrusting of others. The reason for this is that children must feel seen for who they are in order to feel secure. A lot of our issues with insecurity can come from our early attachment style.

Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships

They may start to feel insecurity and lose a sense of their actual abilities. A healthy attitude for parents to maintain is to see themselves and their children realistically and to treat them with acceptance and compassion. The best way a parent can support their children is to allow them to find something that is unique to them — something that lights them up and that they will work to achieve.

Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive. If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.

avoid insecurities in relationship

So if you suspect that you have been making unfair comparisons between your present relationships and a negative one from the past, take a moment and consciously reflect on the hurtful qualities of this old, negative relationship, and then think of all the ways your present relationships differ.

This small exercise will help you let go of the old bricks and remind you that past pains are not indicative of present possibilities. Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage.

Too often we amuse ourselves with anxious predictions, deceive ourselves with negative thinking, and ultimately live in a state of hallucination about worst-case scenarios.

We overlook everything but the plain, downright, simple, honest truth.

How to Overcome Insecurity: Why Am I So Insecure?

When you invent problems in your relationships, your relationships ultimately suffer. Insecurity is often the culprit. The insecure passenger does not trust anyone else to drive.

They feel out of control. They imagine that the driver is not paying attention. Or they may even fantasize that the slight jolting of the driver stepping on the breaks is a sign of doom via an impending collision.

They freak themselves out by assuming that the visions they have invented in their mind represents reality. What you need to realize is that there are normal idiosyncrasies to any relationship. There are ups and downs and mood changes, moments of affection and closeness and moments of friction.

These ups and downs are normal. Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting to be a passenger in a car that has no driver. Will they reject me? Have I done something to upset them?

This is just too good to last! These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. Being insecure is a whole lot of hard work. So what does it involve? Seeing problems where none exist When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things 'going wrong' nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble.

avoid insecurities in relationship

And, of course, we usually find what we're looking for, even if it isn't really there at all. We perform constant monitoring: Why did they say that?

avoid insecurities in relationship

Who's this other person they've mentioned? Should I feel threatened?

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

Are they less attentive? Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up? Emma said she had often felt inadequate and "not good enough" to be with her current partner. She couldn't possibly understand what he could see in her.

avoid insecurities in relationship

She also told me she had ended many previous relationships because of her insecurity. But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us.

avoid insecurities in relationship

So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships? The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn. They'll imagine the bored look on an air steward's face to be barely concealed terror because, "He must know something we don't!

They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality. There are normal 'mechanisms' to any relationship.

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

There are ebbs and flows and mood changes, moments of intimacy and closeness and comfortable spaces. These ebbs and flows are normal.

Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting an aeroplane to never make a sound or a movement. Next time you feel insecure, ask yourself what it is you are imagining.

Write it down on paper under, 'Stuff I am making up in my head. Which neatly links to Save 2 Avoid the Certainty Trap Overcoming relationship insecurity is partly about becoming less controlling. This may sound strange, but feeling that: