Meet the Fockers () - Shelley Berman as Judge Ira - IMDb
List of memorable movie quotes from Meet the Fockers () Judge Ira: Bingo , Bango, Bongo! Roz Focker: The man is loose, he's limber, and he's ready for. Meet The Fockers — In a reversal of the first film, Pam and her parents join Greg in meeting Chekhov's Gunman: The "bingo bango bongo" guy in the second film who turns out to be the county judge. .. Sequel Hook: In the third film, no less. Meet the Fockers () Shelley Berman as Judge Ira. Judge Ira: Bingo, Bango, Bongo! Roz Focker: The man is loose, he's limber, and he's ready for action.
Since they got their title, well When Greg first meets Dina, she holds out her hand for a handshake while he goes for a hug. Bernie and Roz Focker, to the point that the level-headed Dinah is secretly jealous that they have such a successful sex life at their age. Jack has one near the end of the first two films, yet continues to give Greg hell in the sequels.
Jack's Fatal Flaw — he would rather believe Greg and his parents, and everybody else who so much as saw his girls is actively and maliciously trying to do something and put him through utter hell to force him to tell the truth than accept that his son-in-law is just a Butt-Monkey. The "circle of trust" system is also supposed to allow for an open inter-family relationship, but is becomes apparent long before Pam and Dina call B.
Little Jack repeating the word "asshole". Jack always says that Greg's job is "male nurse" rather than just "nurse". Even though Jack is one of the best examples of a Knight Templar Parent, his favorite song is the one that exemplifies childlike innocence: Pam's entire family, in fact, except Dina and Pam herself.
Even his cat is a Jerkass. The redneck cop in the second movie. The Lawful Stupid airline employees that Greg had to put up with in the first film.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Jack - he clearly loves his daughter and wants only the best for her, but his extreme Papa Wolf personality makes it difficult for her to have any successful relationships.
Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: That said, he does push it with how much he tortures and refuses to reason with Greg and his family. The "Circle Of Trust" and control-freak tendencies make it clear he's pretty difficult to live with. All 3 movies revel in being this. In the third movie, Andi Garcia drunkenly forces herself onto Greg while at his house, despite knowing that he's married and he objects. She never gets her comeuppance for it; she doesn't even get fired, despite acting unprofessional for the entire movie.
Jack in the first film never faces any real consequence for bullying Greg. The second film is better about this. You could say the two heart attacks in the third film are Jack's karma. He would at least have to learn to keep his composure and temper under control from that point onward, or risk a third, and likely fatal, heart attack.
Denny, Pam's pothead brother, never gets any comeuppance for framing Greg for smoking marijuana in the first film. In the second however, Dina mentions that he was sent to military school, so it seems that karma caught up with him off-screen. Jack, who dotes on Jinx like crazy. The "kindhearted" part is extremely debatable to say the least, though.
This describes Jack Byrnes to a T. The Koshers - er, Fockers, oh damn. The airline employees, particularly the one who makes Greg wait until his row gets called for boarding The redneck cop in the second film.
He is following the standard list of what to do if an officer pulls someone over and the driver turns hostile—the problem being that this means he won't listen to what Jack, Greg or Bernie have to say when they try to explain themselves and pretty much brutalizes them when they turn "uncooperative" which is when they try to insist and raise their voices, otherwise remaining peaceful.
Let Her Grow Up, Dear: Pam's mom is definitely more supportive of her relationship with Gaylord than Jack ever will be. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Captain Jack Byrnes speaking. As a courtesy to your fellow passengers, please remember that the onboard lavatory should be used for number one only. Should the need for number two arise, we'll stop at the nearest rest stop, gas station, or heavily wooded area. I like that thing. Hey, do you mind if I, uh, make a little announcement? Only the captain gets to make an announcement. You want to honk the horn?
Only the captain gets to honk the horn. Hey, Jinxy, see that? Do you want some milk? Oh, she wants you to honk the horn. Rules of the road. She honks, you honk. Give her a honk. It's like a team or something. So make a-- Hey, there.
No hard feelings, all right? Now, wait a minute. What does this mean? I know what this means. You got to poop, right? Thank you for warning me. Just let it come out. What did you do, Focker? I think he has to poop. That's not the sign for poop. That's the sign for milk.
Meet The Fockers Script - transcript from the screenplay and/or Ben Stiller movie
This is the sign for poop. What's the sign for sour milk? That's because it's from Debbie's left breast, Greg. Fortunately, she pumped for a week to give us enough for the trip. Okay, snack pack for Little Jack. What are you doing there? Well, during the breastfeeding stage, Greg, infants can get very confused and upset when they're separated from their mothers. So I invented something to ease L.
I call it the Mannary Gland. I had it made from an exact cast of Debbie's left bosom. It's been so effective, I'm thinking of getting it patented. Would you like to touch it?
Oh, come on, feel how soft it is. I can-- I can see how soft it is from here. No, feel it, Greg. It's very-- It looks very-- Just feel the breast, Greg. Oh, watch the nipple. It's got a great, lifelike, and a Or what I would imagine Debbie's breast might-- might actually feel like.
Not that I would know. Honey, you promised you wouldn't take the boob out in front of company. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Breast-feeding is perfectly natural. Dad, that's not natural, that's just weird. As soon as Little Jack's topped off, we're gonna hit the road. Oh, Jack, you can't drive any more tonight. Monroe said no aggravating your sciatica.
Honey, we're on a very precise schedule. We bunk here tonight, we hit horrendous traffic in the morning. Maybe you could drive the night shift. I could do that. I am the Co-Captain. So, I think that falls under my responsibilities, right? Keep her at stay alert. I've been wanting to get behind the wheel of this big boy. Sorry, got to go.
Would you like some company, Greg? If you can't sleep. How about a cappuccino? Oh, you don't have to do that. It's no problem for me. Wake up and make Greg a cappuccino! Shake a leg, woman! Jesus, Jack, you know, I'm not that tired. This cockpit's completely soundproofed. You should've seen the look on your face. That was-- That was a good one. But you should never talk to a woman like that, you know that, Greg. Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important.
You know what that is? Now, my grandson, Little Jack, is part of that legacy. In six months, you and Pam are gonna be married. Sometime after that, you'll want to start a family of your own. Actually, on the subject, I had some thoughts about the wedding date. We'll discuss that later, after this weekend, Greg.
Now, let's get back on point. Let me put it very simply. If your family circle does indeed join my family circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain.
I get the metaphor. Now, I've never met your parents, so I'm not going to jump to any hasty conclusions. But, like studying a frozen caveman, if I can see where you came from, I'll have a much better idea of where you're going. A- are you thinking maybe my parents might be like-- like a chink in the chain or A doctor and a lawyer, what's there to worry about?
Ooh, it seems very nice. Is that your father? That is my father. What the heck is that contraption? I thought you guys were flying in tonight. I left a message yesterday We were driving-- Oh, I didn't get a message. I left you like five messages. Will you get over here and plant one on me. I've been waiting so long to see you. Good to see you. Oh, I missed you. Is this not the most handsome young man you've ever seen in your life? I used to call him a young Jewish Marlon Brando. Can you believe I conceived him with one testicle?
I only have one because the other never dropped. It's called an undescending testicle. It's not uncommon, but look at him. Imagine what he would have looked like if I had two. That's a good icebreaker. There's the sexiest second grade teacher I've ever seen in my life. That was a good one. It gets her every time. It's so nice to meet you. The pleasure is all mine, mon cheri. You got to be the flower man.
Jack Byrnes, Pam's father. And I'm Bernard Focker, Gaylord's father, and we're all grownups here and we shake hands like men.
Oh, we're just playing here. Give me some love. What're you so shy about? Look at those pecs. You're harder than sheetrock. Now tell me the truth. You work out with weights, right?
Well, I do various callisthenics. Some medicine-ball training, I play bimonthly football. I was just, uh, practicing my Capoeira. The Brazilian martial art of dance fighting.
He knows what that is. You know, I've been doing it for weeks. I'm really into it. It keeps me level. Because sometimes I get wound up so tight, I could just snap. Is there a baby on board? It was all in the message. Hey, Moses, go ahead, say hello to your future in-laws. No, no, he's harmless. Just shake him off. He likes the shaking. The pink part didn't get on you.
Moses, go, get in your basket. Who's this little guy? This is our grandson, Little Jack. How are you, Little Jack? Hey, Dad, don't-- don't-- don't infantilize him. Just talk to him like a person.
What are you talking about? I want to talk to him like he's a baby. When Roz's dad died, I said: Dad, you continue the tour. I'm gonna tell Mom we're here, okay? The upstairs bathroom is on el fritzo.
So we're all gonna have to share this one for now. Since there's a water scarcity on the island, we kind of abide by the ''if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down'' policy. Forgot my own rule. The RV has paid for itself already. Let's get your kundalini rising.
And now it's time for the ladies to get into the reverse cowgirl position. Guys, you have to lie across the Liberator pad like so.
Everyone look at how Ira's doing it. The man is loose, he's limber and he's ready for action. So, climb aboard, girls, and let me hear your bodies talk.
This position is terrific for anyone with osteoporosis, gout or goiter. Stay with me, kids. We have to wrap it up. Remember to take your Liberator pads. And don't forget to stretch before you try this at home. We don't want anyone shattering a pelvis. Oh, I love you so much. I haven't seen my bubeleh in months.
Honey, you feel thin. Mom, how do we explain all these people to the Byrneses? The Byrneses won't know they were here. We agreed to be discreet about you being a sex therapist this weekend until you got to know Jack and Dina better. I put all my toys away. And my office is all ready for them to sleep in.
Your father thought they'd be more comfortable down here. You don't wanna know. Talk to me about something important, honey. How are things with you and Pam? Because, you know, after two years, you have to work to keep things going. Does she still climax regularly? You can't talk that way this weekend, okay?
Honey, I'm just saying I didn't raise you to be a so-so lover. Okay, what is he doing? Don't-- don't worry about them. Mom, Mom, you got to get these people out of here now. Wipe that little gloss off you. You hunt deer, Bernard? No, I hate that thing. Roz's father gave it to us. He was into all that macho-wacho crap. He and I went duck-hunting together. Gay, you went duck-hunting with-- with Jack?
We went, we did. We went on a little hunting trip. You shot a duck? I shot at a duck and You killed an innocent creature of the sky? I think I might've clipped it or And now, for the piece de resistance. Little somethin' I've been workin' on. Mom will be out in a sec. It's the Wall of Gaylord. The Wall of Gaylord? Isn't it nice to finally display your accomplishments, Son?
Shelley Berman: Judge Ira
Honey, look at all your awards. Oh, I didn't know they made ninth place ribbons. Oh, Jack, they got them all the way up to th place. Anybody want to get a drink by the lagoon? This one looks impressive. We've always tried to instill a sense of self in Gaylord without being too goal-oriented.
It's not about winning or losing, it's about passion. We just want him to love what he's doin'. You know what I mean, Jack? I think a competitive drive is the essential key that makes America the only remaining superpower in the world today. Don't forget the positions. Oh, Thank you, BJ. Ira, remember, easy on the thrusting. What-- What kind of work does your mother do with those patients? Those look like yoga mats.
Is there yoga involved? It's sort of, um, a, um, a-- a-- a couples therapy. It's kind of her own sort of-- Rozela! How are you, baby girl? Look at you, you're glowing! I-- I just can't believe it's taken us this long to meet, huh. And who's this little hairball? They brought their grandson Baby Jack along. I could eat him up. Bern, did you show them where they're sleeping? Because we don't have any air-conditioning, I made up a nice spot for you in Roz's office 'cause it gets the best breeze, and it's very near the communal commode.
Oh, well, you know, actually, we're gonna stay in our motor home. We sleep under the same roof. Actually, Mom's office is kind of cluttered. So, that-- that works all right. It's just really easier with Little Jack. They wanna sleep in the trailer, let them sleep in the trailer. Mom, it's not actually-- It's not a trailer. It's kind of like-- It's like a-- like a hotel on wheels.
This is practically a hotel. I was gonna do the turndown service-- I know, I know, but it's their choice. Wherever you feel most comfortable is fine. Bern, let it go. Yeah, let it go. Look at you, sulking. Now, look at this. I married a teenager. At least you have the libido of a teenager. I gave her a little matinee today-- Oh! How about a double feature?
Why don't we go show them the lagoon? Come see the lagoon. We'll get drunk, we'll take a piss in the lagoon. Roz, why don't you take them outside? I'll make a drink. Hey, Dad-- It's going good so far, right? Dad, you gotta take down that weird shrine thing. But I'm very proud of you, Gaylord. What's wrong with showing it? Most people aren't proud of sixth place ribbons. Since when do you care about most people? I don't, but Jack is really into winning and competition and sports.
Meet the Parents (Film) - TV Tropes
It's a whole other thing with him. You're a winner up here and in here. And that's all that matters. I don't know what that means, but thank you. So, to solve that problem, I created a life-like latex left breast moulded from his mother's actual left breast, so this way L.
You're avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man? Well, yes, believe it or not, it is less confusing because of the texture Mom. Uh, I guess it's very, uh, creative. A little birdie told me that one of our guests here is a Tom Collins man.
Oh, for pity's sake. Isn't that nice, Jack? I want to make a toast. Now, I had a vasectomy in So, unfortunately, I never had the chance to procreate a daughter, but had I been able to, I really would've wanted a girl as sensitive and as intelligent and as beautiful as this young lady sitting right here before us.
And if I might add I thought you had a sister? You said you had a sister. You said you milked your sister's cat. Okay, I'm not done yet.
What I'm trying to say is, it's taken far too long to do this, you know, but we're finally all together. All right, that's enough.
Like you have popcorn stuck in the throat. I want to say one more thing about my vasectomy. Honey, get yourself over here. You're so cute, they'll forgive you anything. You are the sexiest woman alive I know. You're just trying to get me back into bed. This is a delicious Tom Collins.
What I did, I used real lemon juice. It's from our trees here. He was squeezing all afternoon. And, Jack, I managed to make some lemon juice, too.
Gay, you all right? Well, I think that Roz and Bernie seem like very nice people. A little off-colour, but very nice. But isn't it wonderful, Jack?
After all this build-up, the kids are finally getting married. I feel so happy. I think he just spoke.
Little Jack, were you about to speak? Nope, just a little flatulence. What were you saying, honey? Guys, where are you going?
We're checking out Jack's macho-wacho trailer. I want to see that boob. Can I talk to you for a sec? Hey, listen, don't let Moses go in there. Well, what's the sign for sour milk, because this, uh, tastes a little funky. That's because that's from Debbie's left breast, Greg.
Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is? If your family's circle joins in my family's circle, they'll form a chain.
I can't have a chink in my chain. I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child. It was Barry Poppins. What kind of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson? Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain. It was your idea?
What is wrong with you people?! I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums. Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions? Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. He's learning to self-soothe.
These setbacks are disastrous for his development. The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here. What are you saying?