I'm not really confident enough to go out and meet new people. These are the friends you can trust to be there for you whenever you need them, and they will. After too many boring Friday nights, I finally learned how to make new friends and meet He instantly starts chatting up a girl and leaves you standing there. Both skills needed when you are out there in the dating field. "Attend with the mindset of making new friends, rather than searching for a "If you want to meet people in the real world, go to where the single people all are,".
Sometimes you'll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life. You may get invited to a movie you only half want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you're about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out.
Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you're going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances. Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they're planning an event will think, "Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really.
Once you've got some budding friendships, keep in touch, keep hanging out, and let the relationship grow It's one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally.
You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that's all you need in a relationship with them, someone you're casually friendly with and who you see every now and then. However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level.
You won't have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet. I talk about developing friendships way more in this article: How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships Once you know some people, build on this foundation Once you've made a regular friend or two you've also got a good base to work from.
If you're not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away. Sooner or later you'll end up meeting your friend's friends. If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time.
You can also continue to meet entirely new people. Having friends will make this easier as they'll do things like invite you to parties or keep you company in places where there are new people to potentially meet. Repeat the above steps more often to make more friends If you join one new club, hit it off with three people there, and end up hanging out with two of them long term, then you've made two new friends. If you stop there then that's all you'll have.
If week after week you're coming up with new ways to meet people, and then following up and attending lots of get togethers, then you'll have a pile of friends and acquaintances eventually.
It's up to you when you feel like stopping. There's no law that says everyone has to have dozens of people in their social circle either. Many people are perfectly happy only having a few really close relationships.
If you only have a couple of friends and decide you want more though, you can always get out there again. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training. Now I'll go into some broader concepts that apply to making friends as a whole. I think the points below are just as important as the stuff I've covered already, if not more so.
If you want a social life, you've got to make it happen for yourself A huge, core principle when it comes to building a social life is: It's a big mistake to passively wait for other people to do the work of befriending you. It's great if it happens, but don't count on it.
If you want to get a group of friends, assume you'll have to put in all the effort. If you want to do something on the weekend, don't sit around and hope someone texts you. Get in touch with various people and put something together yourself, or find out what they're doing and see if you can come along.
Don't worry too much about seeming desperate or needy. Take the attitude that it's about you and you'll do what needs to be done to make some friends. Who cares if a handful of people think you're a bit too eager along the way if it all eventually works out?
It's a lot like dating or trying to find a new job. What you get out of these things depends a lot on how much you put into them. Don't take it personally if people seem indifferent to you Other people are often harmlessly thoughtless and preoccupied in the sense that they'd be happy if they hung out with you, but they wouldn't think to ask you themselves.
Sometimes you have to take an interest in them before you appear on their radar.
30 Almost Painless Ways To Meet New People
Similarly, some people are more lax and laid back than you'd like about returning your emails or calls. They're not consciously trying to reject you. They're just a little more loosey-goosey about that stuff than most. Don't feel making friends is super tricky If you're inexperienced with making friends, you may see the process as being more drawn-out and complex than it really is. Often all you have to do to make a friend is meet someone you naturally click with and hang around with them enough.
You also don't have to know them for months before applying the 'friend' label to them. One characteristic of more social people is that they'll throw the word friend around pretty loosely when describing their relationships. But it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure, if you've just met someone it may not be a deep, intimate relationship, but you can still hang out with them and have a good time.
If you're trying to build a whole new social life from scratch, don't be overly picky about who you hang out with at first If you're lonely your initial goal should just be to get some sort of social life going. Of course, steer clear of anyone who's truly toxic. The benefits of being out socializing, as opposed to moping around at home, outweigh the fact that they're not your perfect match. At the very least, it's easier to make even more friends when you've already got a few.
Also, if you're forming your first-ever social circle, you probably don't totally know what you like or want in other people. You have to see what different types of people are like in a friend capacity firsthand. As a general rule, if you more-or-less get along with someone, actually become friends with them first, and then decide if you want to be friends. If you're picky, you can come up with reasons not to befriend just about anyone ahead of time.
But when you're already hanging out with someone, and you've skipped over your pickiness, you often find you like their company, even if they wouldn't have been good 'on paper' in your mind beforehand. I also give this advice because studies show lonely people tend to be more negative about others in general.
Less-naturally outgoing types can also be more picky about who they choose to spend their time with. If you tend to be down on everyone you meet, you need to make an effort to consciously override these feelings. Plus, don't have an skewed self-image that demands you can only hang out with a certain caliber of people.
Be realistic about yourself and your circumstances. If you don't totally like yourself you may also be averse to hanging around people who you see as too similar to you, as it can act as a mirror that reflects your shortcomings back at you.
10 Tips to Make New Friends
This may be justified if you have some irksome traits and understandably want to avoid others who have them, but often you may be turning away legitimately good people who just happen to have some characteristics that tweak your insecurities a little.
Be persistent and try not to get discouraged by setbacks too easily Sometimes you'll join a club or be introduced to your friend's friends and hope to meet a bunch of great new people. Then you get there and the experience is disappointing.
You may feel like you don't click with anyone, or like they're ignoring you in favor of making in-jokes with each other. Give these groups a few more tries. Often you're limited in how much you'll connect with others on the first meeting.
10 Tips to Make New Friends | Personal Excellence
You may warm up to each other before long. If someone refuses your invitation because they're busy or not sure if they can make it out then don't give up. Try again another time. Try to assume the best.
Don't automatically jump to the conclusion that they hate you and you're fundamentally unlikable. Also, even the act of making an invitation sends the message that you like someone and want to hang out with them.
They may be unable to meet that one time, but now see you as someone they could possibly have fun with in the future. When you meet potential friends be realistic about your importance in their lives and how long it may take to become buddies with them. They probably already have a social circle and their world won't end if it doesn't work out with you.
As such, don't get too discouraged if they're not knocking down the door to hang out with you a day after you met them. They may be busy and your plans may not pan out for another few weeks. Sometimes it just won't work out with someone. You'll get along at the time, and they may express an interest in hanging out in the future, but for whatever reason things don't materialize. They may be too busy, already have enough friends, or they don't think you're a good enough match for them.
It happens to everyone and is nothing to get too down about. Keep the bigger picture in mind and continue meeting people. Here are 30 painless ways to meet new people and develop friendships: This is how Ron and I met our new best buddies here in Asheville. There are tons of beautiful hikes nearby, and we spotted a couple on the path of one long hike who were sociable and about our age. When you're on the trail with someone, it's easy to strike up an authentic conversation without the distractions of daily life.
When you're surrounded by the beauty of nature, it inspires connection. If you enjoy hiking, meeting people on a trail means you've found a friend who shares your passion for the great outdoors. That's one point in their favor already.
Just remember, before you go your separate ways to suggest getting together again. Get involved in a sport or activity club. If you don't meet someone on the trail by yourself, join a hiking club where you hike with others.
If hiking isn't your thing, you can join a running or biking group, a softball team, or a tennis league. Find a group who shares a physical activity you enjoy and become a regular. Strike up conversations with other members and suggest meeting for coffee, wine, or beer after an event or meeting. Join a book club. If you love books, a book club is a wonderful way to meet new people with a similar interest.
You can find book clubs through your local bookstore, online, or through Meetup.
- How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life
If you don't find the right fit for you, start your own club and invite other members to join. There are so many fun opportunities for volunteering with large groups of people where you might find your tribe.
30 Ways To Meet New People (Best Ways To Meet New Friends)
Volunteer in areas that are meaningful and interesting to you. You can volunteer as a coach, for a cultural event, or for a local art show.
Whatever kind of group activity interests you, you'll find it at MeetUp. Scroll through the various events in your city to find something that lights your fire, or type in your interest and see what's available.
I've found book clubs, networking groups, and social groups through MeetUp. Talk to your neighbors. Sometimes the people we're looking to meet are in our own backyards. Have you reached out to your neighbors lately? If you see your neighbor working in the yard, walk over and offer to help.
Or make a little extra soup or an extra dozen cookies and walk them to the family down the street. By extending yourself just a little, you might meet some wonderful new friends within a short walk of your home. Wherever you happen to be — in line at the post office, at the grocery store, or at a concert, start a conversation with someone around you.
Have a few conversation starters handy so you always have something to say to kick off a conversation. Yes, this might be uncomfortable at first, but if the other person is friendly and responsive, it might be the beginning of an interesting connection. Ron and I have a beautiful white collie named Scotch. He's unusual because he's white collies are usually black and tanand he really is a handsome guy.
When we take him on a walk, we get stopped by nearly everyone we pass. Taking your dog for a walk gives new people a reason to stop and talk to you. Other dogs will be naturally curious and drag their owners over to say hello in doggie language. If there's a dog park in your community, take a ball or frisbee and have an outing with your pet.
The odds are good you'll meet people that are fellow dog lovers. Sit at community tables. Find restaurants that have community dinner tables or bar tables. Rather than isolating yourself at a two-top, sit at the community table and meet new people seated nearby.
Reach out on Facebook or other social media. I reached out to a few and have met up for coffee. Through Facebook, you may discover some old friends or acquaintances that you didn't know lived nearby.
Host your own casual dinner party or open house and invite your neighbors, people from work, or acquaintances you've bumped into along the way. Invite them to bring a friend along so you expand your potential circle of new connections. You don't have to do anything elaborate. Make a pot of soup or order a few pizzas. The point is to simply bring people together and expand your circles. Find a business association. Are there groups or associations related to your career?
Research local business events and attend them so you can network professionally and personally. Go to a cultural event. Become an annual member of the symphony, local theater, or ballet. Attend the performances as well as the fundraising and member events.
Strike up conversations with other attendees who are there because they appreciate the arts just like you. If you prefer visual art, visit your local galleries, talk with the owners or managers, and discuss the art with other guests.
One of the best ways to meet people is in a class at the gym. But if classes aren't your thing, spend time in the weight room when it's busy so you can converse with other gym rats. If there's a cafe or juice bar at your gym, hang out for a bit after your workout and connect with other members.
If you have a couple of friends or acquaintances who have a larger circle of friends, ask them to introduce you to new people.
If you've moved to a new city like I have, maybe your existing friends know people in your new city. Ask them to make an email connection and then follow up yourself to suggest a get-together. Participate in Toastmasters or another speaking club. Public speaking isn't fun for most people, but when you're thrown in a setting where everyone shares the same fears and learning curve, it can quickly break the ice.
Speaking clubs not only give you the confidence to make presentations, but they also give you the chance to meet a variety of new and interesting people.
Go on a wine or beer tour. I live in a city with dozens of local breweries, and brew tours are common occurrences here. If you have wineries nearby or even restaurants that offer wine tastings, join in the fun and meet other connoisseurs. Beer, wine, and socializing always seem to pair well together.