The Shadow Side of Falling In Love: The Power That Drives Addictions to Love, Sex and Romance
Shadow work makes both people in the relationship stronger. It builds character, strength and allows a deeper understanding of the self, The fact that the twin flame is an identical mirror which sees and reflects every shadow about you is. Have you met people with plenty of friends with the best relationships? The person who smiles all the time and offers unconditional love to. The true power and creativity unleashed from the shadow is your ability is to become conscious of your shadow self – the part you do not know and Relationships do not mirror your ego back to you; rather, they mirror back.
They want to be loved according to their own survival-love map. They need however is to break the hold of this early map to be free to see, love and value the other as a separate human and unique human being, and not merely an extension of who they want them to be.
Recognize Yourself in the Mirror of Others
As part of their early survival-love map, each person brings their own personal triggers and triggering-emotions into the relationship. All of this is subconscious. How common or likely is that in a couple relationship? What are the chances that in the course of your couple relationship or any relationship with someone you live and deal with daily… that you have to deal with: Sense of unfulfilled expectations of longings you had at the start?
Feeling not appreciated for your contributions? We are intricately connected by emotion-drives that are arguably at the same time relational and spiritual yearnings. This is particularly true in the case of infidelity, whether sexual and, or emotional. Not all feel-goods are healthy, i. Similarly, not all feel-bad sensations are unhealthy, i.
These beliefs can be limiting, false and in conflict with some of its directives, i. Power is ultimately about who has a choice and who does not. The shadow side is our habitual reaction to our deepest fear: Intimacy fears have to do with our fears of inadequacy, rejection, abandonment, and they are survival-fears fear of not existing —in particular the ability of another person our parents to decide whether or not we live.
The universe will perfectly align us with those who mirror back to us the areas in which we need to heal or they will mirror back to us the space of self-love that we've created. Relationships are assignments to help us grow. Many times we align with someone who challenges us by triggering our unhealed wounds, making us act from fearful patterns of communication that create separation rather than connection. This looks like the fight or flight, conflict or withdrawal pattern, which is based on past traumas big or small that we unconsciously bring into the present moment and even project into the future.
Oftentimes, it is not the present situation that is upsetting us but rather an unhealed wound rooted in the past.
When we're scared rather than going to conflict or running away, we can go within.
Embracing the shadow in relationships
Begin by sourcing the emotion or fear that's coming up for you by asking your mind to show you the first memory of this feeling.
From there you can allow feelings to come up to release, moving through them when you're ready, to the other side where you see things from a higher perspective; you can call on your higher self to show you loving perceptions, the truth of the person or situation.
In this space you will experience a radical shift. This is where you find your peace, safety and serenity, your connection to love. All of my fears were triggered in my romantic relationships so I started here. Many times we try to change the other person in order for us to be happy or we judge or blame others rather than owning our own feelings and taking inventory to see how a limiting belief or pattern can be blocking us from what we desire.
They may help you to learn something about yourself, and when that lesson is done, the relationship dissolves. So you can see that while the difficult mirrors that come into your life we want to get done with as soon as possible, the pleasurable ones are often the ones that are easiest to ignite attachment issues. Projecting Your Life Onto the World Yet, for many of you, you cannot even appreciate the mirrors that you are calling into your life yet.
You will switch from projecting your darkness on everything and seeing a world filled with assholes, jerks, manipulators, embezzlers, rapists, murderers, and so forth to seeing a world filled with bright radiant souls, kind-hearted people, philanthropists, healers, and much more. But clear sight does not project itself onto the world.
Clear sight sees what is, and there are both aspects of light and dark constantly at work in this world. Waking up doesn't change this. Waking up simply is an embracing of both and seeing everything as it is. So if suddenly everyone looks beautiful, take a pause. Be present to this and see if this light is really the person as they are or if it's just you seeing yourself. You will be surprised how often it is the latter and not the former. Certainly, everyone is a beautiful soul at their core, but that is not the space from which most people are operating.
Most people are trapped in their ideas and illusions, and they don't know how to step beyond their self-made chains.
Mirror, Mirror: The Shadow Self & Dating | Spiritual Dating | Elevated Existence
And no matter how much you might like them to break their chains, you can't change them or do it for them, regardless of how much inner light you see in them. Mirrors like these show you just how much beauty you have, and it is important in this regard to continue to own your light and not be too quick to give it all away before you've had a chance to really anchor yourself in it. Anchoring Yourself and Deepening Into the Light Spaces Ultimately, the reflections you see of yourself in others and the ways you project yourself onto others are going to be powerful teachers to help you see more of yourself.
Many of these people will be showing you blindspots that you had not seen or had ignored before. Many times, the levels of ignorance we live in is quite extraordinary, and so it can be equally overwhelming when someone shows us just how profoundly loving or profoundly cruel we've been.
Often, awakening and the lessons we call into our lives show us both. As you can tell, I'm not perpetuating the naive idea of spiritual awakening that is being circulated around these days in which we just float blissfully about and never see anything disturbing. Those are called rose-colored glasses, and they skew our vision of the world instead of clarifying it. As you see each person as a lesson for you, you can learn and grow and deepen into your inner space. Your inner space is God, is your connection to God, is your connection to everyone.
In that space, the droplet of water is the ocean and yet it is still just a droplet. This is the space that we're connecting to, and once you feel anchored in that inner flow, there is nothing in the world that can knock you off balance again.
You find someone who is shining their own as well.
- Mirror, Mirror: The Shadow Self & Dating
- The Shadow Side of Falling In Love: The Power That Drives Addictions to Love, Sex and Romance
- Every Relationship Is a Mirror
For many people who reach out to me, they are looking for a reflection of their light. This is usually done as a means to have their experience validated.
In this crazy world, people write to me wanting to know if they're going crazy. Very rarely do I get a person with actual mental health issues.Your Relationship Is A Mirror
Usually my answer is that the world is crazy and consumed with greed, lust, anger, hatred, and the usual litany of dis-eases. For some people, connecting with a spiritual teacher or another who is shining his or her life is intoxicating.