Top 10 Reasons Why Marriage Fails | About Islam
The first five to seven years are the most challenging of any marriage. Below, are some of the main problems couples face in the early years, and some. Husband and Wife Relationship: An Islamic and Psychological Perspective (Part 2) . and profusely thanked me and said: “You solved a major problem of mine. And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed.
In-laws should not be compared to parents, and so on. In addition, there should be regular, healthy contact between spouses and in-laws. This can mean visiting each other at least once or twice a month, or phoning regularly if distance makes it difficult to get together. We should remember that many times in the Quran, we have been ordered to maintain our family ties and relationships and one of the greatest sins in Islam is to sever ties with family members.
He forbids them to commit indecency, sin, and rebellion and Allah gives you advice so that perhaps you will take heed. Have fear of your Lord who has created you from a single soul.Doubt In A Relationship - Husband & Wife Relation - Qasim Ali Shah
From it He created your spouse and through them He populated the land with many men and women. Have fear of the One by whose Name you swear to settle your differences and have respect for the wombs that bore you.
Allah SwT certainly keeps watch over you. Realism Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They live happily ever after. This is the plot of many Hollywood movies, where everyone is "perfect".
Real life is very different. Couples may enter marriage with high-flying romantic ideas and expecting their partner to be the ideal human, however all humans have good and bad points. Husbands and wives have to learn to accept each other, warts and all and since we ourselves are not perfect, how can we expect that form someone else?
Making a Schedule and Establishing Rituals Making a schedule may seem like an end to spontaneity but that is not true. It allows you to establish your own lifestyle and rituals as a couple. In this scenario, a schedule helps in setting time aside for each other, during a fast-paced week of work and studies. Some rituals couples can establish may include: By discussing and setting up these rituals, couples learn how to talk to and feel responsible for each other.
They also learn to become a team instead of two people living in the same house with separate lives. Marriage as a Restriction Muslim men who have grown up in North America may find marriage restricting. After all, before, they could hang out with their buddies and come home around After marriage though, they have to be home by 7: While marriage comes with responsibilities and a tighter schedule, the benefits are also there.
It takes time and patience to realize that in the end the benefits i. Friends and Islamic Activities Friends are a joy and a good friend is someone you want to be close to for the rest of your life. But friends are often the source of many marriage conflicts. Too much time spent with friends - either hanging out with them or being on the phone - means time lost with one's spouse.
Also, friends, especially if they are of the same age group, may give the wrong advice on marriage, due to their own inexperience in the area. Some possible solutions to the friend dilemma could be: Young Muslim activists may think they can keep attending those three-hour Islamic discussions as they did before marriage. Too much focus on outside Islamic activities takes one away from spouse time.
Husband and Wife in Islam - 10 Tips to Spice Up the Bond
Give Islamic activities their due, but within a balance of everyone's rights, including those of your spouse. In Relation to Secrets A number of young married couples are notorious for not keeping secrets, especially those related to sexual matters, and thus expose their spouse's faults. This is not only unacceptable - but it is un-Islamic as well.
Couples should seek to hide each other's faults. They should seek advice on marriage problems from a "marriage mentor", someone who is older, wiser, trustworthy and has the best interests of both parties at heart.
The First Two Years: A Marriage Survival Guide
The Holy Quran tells us that: Finances How much should be spent on furniture, the house, food, etc.? These are staple issues of any household and can lead to a tug-of-war between husband and wife. To keep spending in check, husbands and wives need to draft a budget and stick to it.
The household will run more efficiently and that's one less source of conflict in a marriage. A special note to husbands: They do this as an expression of love and because they want to provide for their wives. However, as time passes and they keep giving, they go into debt or experience financial difficulty.
As well, wives get used to a certain level of comfort which husbands can no longer afford. Providing for a wife and later on, a family is not just reserved to material things.
It includes spending time with them, and treating them with equity and kindness. In fact, most wives would prefer this kind of provision over expensive gifts. Giving Each Other Space A number of couples think being married means always being together and serving each other on hand and foot.
Wives may initially take over all the household chores, not letting the husband help or even do his own things i.
Happy Muslim couples live and breathe this hadith in their marriage: Here are 5 reasons to thank your spouse right now: Chapter 14, Verse 7 ] Our spouses are an immense favor and blessing of Allah upon us: Happy Muslim couples keep getting happier because they simply implement the command of Allah in the above verse: They are grateful everyday for each other, so Allah increases the happiness they find in each other, just like He promised.
10 Habits of Happy Muslim Couples - misjon.info
It is a denial of a favor Allah has blessed us with that many are longing for. Days of depression, frustration, anger, spite, lack of barakah blessingand even illness and hardships make life living hell for those who refuse to be grateful in their marriages. You and your spouse can start becoming grateful for each other right now by: They communicate like best friends What a Whatsapp conversation looks like a few years into a typical marriage: What makes a spouse less-deserving of respect, enthusiasm and affection when no one deserves it more than them except our parents for choosing to live every single day with us?
Why do we not talk to our spouses like we talk to our best friends, even though they are much closer to us than anyone will ever be? Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict. In fact, happy Muslim couples communicate just like the Prophet and his wives did.
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They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: Men and women are equally human: Allah has created both genders with a sense of human dignity, with physical desires and with hearts that have feelings.
When wives get snappy and say mean things to their spouses, husbands do feel hurt and unloved; and when husbands are rude and hurl insults at their spouses, wives do feel humiliated and disrespected. Every marriage is made up of two unique people of opposite genders. For this reason, generally accepted theories that may apply to many marriages may not apply to many others because different people are different.
And happy Muslim couples have this figured out.
Ask them for examples of how they want these needs fulfilled: Write down their needs and preferences. They seek to be the answer to the dua that Allah has taught us to make: Chapter 25, Verse 74 ] What does it take to become a beautiful sight to look at? Smile at your spouse When was the last time you beamed at your spouse or saw your spouse smiling lovingly at you?
Look good for your spouse The noble companion Ibn Abbas is reported to have said: This is because Allah says: Yes, make this your mantra.
Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as important and as easy as everything else you do everyday like eating or sleeping. Make these 20 minutes a fixed part of your routine, ideally just before your spouse gets home or before you sit down to relax at home after work. Looking good for each other has even more to do with maintaining your health and fitness.
You need to do this for your own self before anyone else. Slot in an hour at least everyday to work on your physical and mental fitness: If your spouse was the first person that came to your mind, you have a wonderful marriage Alhamdulillah. When the Prophet received the revelation for the first time, he began trembling with fear and ran to his wife Khadijah seeking comfort and reassurance saying: What is wrong with me?
I was afraid that something bad might happen to me. But receive the good tidings! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously and assist those who are stricken with calamities.
They make each other bloom Did you know your spouse was a separate person with a unique mind, heart, body and soul before they married you? And did you know that they still are that individual person, only with you by their side? Marriages begin to go headlong into constant unhappiness when one or both spouses forget this fundamental fact: Allah has created each of us to contribute in so many ways during our life on this earth and has blessed us with the potential to be all that He wants us to be.
Be that amazing person who motivates, encourages and helps your spouse discover and use their God-given potential and traits to bloom and be a source of joy and mercy to the world. Happy Muslim couples are partners in growth and productivity: They acknowledge that their spouse is a slave of Allah alone and marriage does not change that. They make time for each other — no matter what!
And the only person you will be left with is that spouse read: Your relationship needs exclusive attention every single day. Now is it really that hard to give half an hour of your time everyday to the person who deserves it most? They fight the real enemies: Ego is the defense mechanism of the lower self, and ego in marriage sounds like: This is because the lower self is a covert enemy lurking within each and every one of us.
Why ego is the biggest threat to a marriage is because it is an enemy from within. Ego is like a deceptive double agent that distorts reality and makes us deny and justify the wrongs that our lower selves commit towards our spouses, convincing us that we are right; while we are oppressing our own selves and our spouses and actually walking a path of humiliating self-destruction.