What to Do When You Are Lonely in Marriage - Mark Merrill's Blog
Feeling lonely during pregnancy. May 4, at PM. BabyAbigail wrote: So this is my first baby. It's going really well and the baby is healthy (a little . They say that motherhood can be isolating, and I believe that to be true. In fact, those feelings of loneliness can start well before you take your. They may not even realize that you're feeling lonely, and telling them gives If someone is struggling in their relationship & feeling distraught.
Married for 6 months and expecting our first baby boy. I've been feeling really lonely borderline depressed even. We have different schedules and everytime we get a day off together in the week his first suggestion is always to hang out with other people like doing something together alone is always his last priority.
I feel like he's always just wanting to go "hang out" with other people to drink. Sometimes when I get home from work and ask him to go out. It's like he's just forced to. I always have to plan where we're going to dinner. It would be nice to come home have dinner ready or even for him to go out of his way and find a new place for us. So my brain would get to relax and feel a little appreciated that he went out of his way to plan a night for us.
Even when we're out to dinner he'll just suggest "oh maybe we should call this person and see if they wanna hang out. So she's always around.
When we're in our room. He'll always have the TV on and only talk to me in between commercials. Then he complains why I'm always on my phone. Well because I really dont have anyone to talk to.
And he always has his shows on anyways. He'll never sit there like I do and watch my shows with me. He promised to move around stuff and clean in our room so we can make room for the baby. He said he was having his friend come over so he can help with the drawers.
Pregnant and Lonely: The Why and the What to Do About It
He called me at work to tell me it only took them 15 mins to get everything moved. When I came home I find them drinking in the backyard with a mess in the sink.
Our room was in chaos! I had a long day at work and was just hoping to be able to get dinner and relax. Particularly when you're pregnant, you need your partner or someone else to be interested and supportive! What were the circumstances when you fell pregnant? The timing of your pregnancy will have had an impact on both of you, but perhaps particularly your partner.
It may be a problem in itself, or a contributing factor: I know it sounds horrible, but we may as well be honest with each other. All of the above complicate the situation, so just keep this in mind when you consider how best to repair and heal your relationship or marriage.
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Chances are you're both stressed out. So, I'm really hoping that this article will help the two of you calm down and look forward to the birth of the baby with less angst. I'm also going to assume that an abortion is not an option for you - and that is material for another article. If your partner has truly left you, then my breakup articles will be the best help for you right now.
You're pregnant and your relationship is falling apart?
So, why might your partner be unhappy? Maybe you never really discussed it. Or if you did, you may have thought he would change. Perhaps you thought he would be delighted the moment he knew you were pregnant. Maybe he felt you've left him with no choice. Why might he be behaving in such a 'selfish' way? He's fearful of the responsibility of having a child or another one. He's worried about finances: He's already self-conscious and is worried about being shown up in public as a failing dad.
Feeling lonely during pregnancy - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect
He had a difficult childhood himself and doesn't want to risk putting his own children through a similar situation. He suffers from mental health problems and fears that he may pass that on to the child. He is fearful about passing on a genetic condition common in his family. He suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder and can't cope with the additional stress of having a child disrupt his routines and rituals. He fears having to compete with the child for your attention.
- What to Do When You Are Lonely in Marriage
- Pregnant. Lonely and Married.
- Your pregnancy and baby guide
He may be worried that he knows zilch about pregnancy, if this is his first baby. He may think he should know, and worries about being 'found out'. He may be completely at a loss about his role as a dad if this is his first child, particularly if he has grown up without a father, The pregnancy is ill-timed in his mind for whatever reason: He may be miffed about a lack of sex and intimacy.
He may translate your preoccupation with the baby as you not loving him as much as you did before. Or he may remember from a previous pregnancy how you seemed in his mind to be in a world of your own with little attention for him.
You may be over the moon, but he may feel a failure. Perhaps he had plans to end the relationship. Or maybe he is having an affair. He feels ill-prepared for taking on increased responsibility for your other children.
He may have experienced your previous pregnancies and births as difficult, based on what you went through - whether that was a traumatic birth, post-natal depression or any other kind of problem.
He's having an affair. A combination of any of the above. Now that I've given you a start, you may have some thoughts of your own about what the problem is and why he's being so off with you.
Once you can understand the root of the problem, you can both take steps to address it. Stressed by your husband? I can so understand that you feel alone and frightened about the future and depressed about your relationship. It's natural that you're now worried that you're going to be all by yourself; that giving birth is going to be tinged with sadness. However, the more stressed and depressed you are, the worse your sleep pattern is going to be and the less resilient you'll be.PREGNANT, ALONE AND DEPRESSED.
Add to that your fluctuating hormone levels and you have a recipe for non-stop arguing. Yes, you may think he's being unreasonable, but you need to take care not to be - however difficult or tempting that may be under the circumstances. I do really want you to read my pages on the signs of an abusive relationship though, because it's really important to me to know that you and your baby are safe. I'm sure you're already aware how important it is that you look after yourself - not just with an eye on your physical well-being.
It's just as important to care for your mental and emotional well-being too. Read on for my tips on how to deal with this problem What to do about it all? It's always scary to realise your marriage is 'failing'. Of course the thought that your partner is rejecting it is horrible. So, what can you do? There may be an underlying, undisclosed problem - particularly if there appears to be absolutely no logical sense to his argument.
Also, he may not see it as 'cool' to discuss his fears, particularly now that you're more in need.